I went into this webcomic affair having chosen Scattered Leaves as my first story because I was not as familiar with it or attached to it as other stories I've begun. I thought, since it's my first time, I don't want to screw up one of the stories I really love, do I? I can learn more about this one on the way!
This was a very bad idea, I've realised, because when the going gets tough, it's hard to come up with the will or the desire to stick with something you are not wholly taken with. I rushed into making this webcomic being very unprepared and eager to DO something with my drawing skills, love of webcomics and love of stories. And I did do something. But I didn't really think about WHY I chose to make a webcomic particularly of Leaves once I'd made the decision, another mistake.
I have tried and tried to re-write Leaves, to know more about the characters and the world, and I've come up with all kinds of little things in it that I like. But I feel like I am not attached to this story as I am to the ones I love, like I'm not connected enough with the characters. I've tried my best to love it more, to make myself love it more, but it's not happening. Most of the time it winds up feeling like work of a tedious kind. (I feel like I'm breaking up with somebody, lol. I guess I kind of am.)
I don't want to waste all that time and energy driving myself to do something from which I get more stress than enjoyment. As unfair as it is to leave a story unfinished, I think it would be more unfair of me to continue having at it when I haven't got the passion for it, and expect you to enjoy the product. So Leaves is done.
Don't get me wrong, I haven't fallen out of love with comics. I have learned SO MUCH from this experience, and I'm currently sketching out more comics for those other stories I mentioned having affections for. I will probably post many of them on my deviantart, if you're interested. I have no idea when I will start up a legitimate webcomic again, but I want to, very much. One thing I've learned is that, to do this thing the way I want to, I need to have a LOT of work done on a comic before I post it to the web for serious. Otherwise, I'll wind up feeling rushed and stressed, and unable to get close to the quality I want in a comic in what little time I allowed myself during Leaves. Doing it all on the wing does not work for me at all.
I'm sorry that nobody will know the end to this story, and that its characters are left hanging. And I also feel bad that I made it into this wonderful webcomics collective before I realised my fault, but there's not much I can do about that now. I'm sorry if I disappointed you, and I'm absolutely honoured to have been a part of SpiderForest!
Speaking of which, application season for SpiderForest is about to start in July! Specifically, midnight on July 1st. You can apply here. Do it.
And the page up there? I worked on that for about a week trying to figure out my photoshop and gimp and what software should I try to buy and how do I do this without spending ages on it and-- yeah. Blech. It looks pretty, but it drove me nuts, and I still can't do that stuff efficiently. Another thing to work on!
